Coming home: the good, the bad, and the ugly

9:54 PM

I've once heard that there are the three 'hells' of coming home:

1) Your family is going to hell because you dont do family scripture study or prayer...
2) You're going to hell because you arent the perfect RM you thought you would be...
3) What the hell?

Those three hells are true. I have been home 6 weeks, or a transfer, now. And let me tell you its hard. The first day I was so awkward with my family at dinner. I made us say a prayer at the restaurant we went to before we ate, I made sure we had family prayers every night for the first week as well. That first week I went to seminary with my sister, I cried when I saw the temple, and I got a cell phone. Man I wish I never did. It was a lot easier getting back into the habits of technology. A lot easier than I hoped it would be. Dont get me wrong, technology was annoying for a bit. I hated social media for more than 30 seconds at a time. Facebook was full of garbage and instagram had changed and I had no friends on snapchat. I still dont even have twitter again on my phone. But its a distraction. and I got sucked right in.

Within the first month of being home my ward was completely different, I knew hardly anyone, I had to go through a bunch of crap with my family, I felt completely useless and without purpose, and I had no motivation to do anything. Not even read my scriptures. I was still super sensitive to music and TV and cuss words though. But even that has lessened now. Coming home made me realize that everything I learned on my mission will go to absolute waste, unless I apply it in my life NOW.

For awhile I still felt pretty crappy about my life, but then I got a job. I started reading general conference talks, and I even opened up my scriptures. My prayers became more sincere, I decided to set some goals, and I had some hard talks with my parents.

I met with my bishop about a week ago and he gave me some great advice. "Life is not fair, and you have to be okay with it."

My mission was hard. But I loved it. I wouldnt change any of it. 

Honestly coming home was nothing like I expected. In some ways it was easier, and in others it was way harder. Im still not completely adjusted haha, I wish I was. And I honestly dont know if I will ever be. I dont want to be the same person I was when I left, so if I never adjust completely I think thats okay.

con amor,

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